Living in Faith

At my Thursday night womens group we were studying the story of Moses' mother Jochebed and discussing the remarkable faith in God that she demonstrated in firstly hiding her baby boy rather than drowning him as the king had decreed.  After keeping him hidden in secret for three months Jochabed then laid her beloved baby in a basket and placed him in the river, effectively relinquishing all control and entrusting Moses entirely to God's care.

It was a really encouraging story for me personally as it has been a rather challenging week after being told on Monday that my job is being made redundant. 

I am confident that God has a plan for me and that he will ensure my family is provided for but it is difficult not to succumb to natural human emotions of fear, anxiety and worry particularly when it comes to thinking about how we will pay the mortgage if I can't find another job and in particular worrying about having the wisdom to know what jobs to apply for, whether to try and remain part time so i can be there for the boys or whether to consider full time work just to keep a job and a salary.

I have been exhausted with thinking about all the different options and scenarios and have not been sleeping for several nights as my brain just won't sit down.

In addition I am trying really hard to remain upbeat and positive at work and to not to get embroiled in the feelings of bitterness and anger that some of my colleagues are feeling.  It is very difficult to ensure my conduct at work is righteous when at the same time I am concerned about how some of my colleagues are being treated and knowing that in some cases the organisation is not treating people as well or as humanely as they could if they chose to. 

I have applied for a couple of other roles outside of my organisation just to feel I am doing something pro-active but nothing that has really been a viable option or for which I am actually qualified.  Even those roles I have applied for have taken me between 5 and 6 hours per application to complete.  I am concerned that while I am looking for and applying for jobs I am neglecting my youngest son and as a result he inevitably ends up making fun for himself that naturally ends in trouble for me.  Crayon on the wall, soap and water all over the floor etc. etc.

Anyway, I know that I now have many friends praying for me and as I am getting beyond my own ability to work out a solution I really have no option than to turn to God for help.

It is always very easy to tell other people to 'just trust in God, keep praying and having the faith to know God will work all things for good' but I have fortunately never before been in the situation where I am the one having to live by that faith. I bumped into a girl at church today who want through a very tough time last year.  At the time I kept encouraging her to rest in God's peace and not to be anxious about what the future held.  She was facing a similar situation with respect to work and had a few doors closed before the perfect role arose.  She is now extremely happy in a brilliant job and that is such an encouraging testimony for me to remember now.  I guess it is very good practice for me to relinquish control and place my life in God's hands and this will no doubt be a period of spiritual stretching and growth for me.

When she placed little Moses in the Nile River Jochebed  did not know that he would one day grow up to be one of God's greatest leaders, chosen to rescue the Hebrew people from slavery in Egypt. By letting go and trusting God, an even greater plan was fulfilled.  We may not always see or understand how God is working in any given situation but if we can only allow ourselves to let go and place our situation in his hands we can trust that God's plan will be even better than anything we could have imagined.

Watch this space as I hope one day to be able to share my testimony of how God has used me and this opportunity in my life.  I don't know how quickly God's plan will be revealed to me or where God will take me on this journey but I am determined to enjoy and get the most out of the ride!!

A Servant Heart

What do you consider to be your greatest role or priority as a wife?

How do you think that your ideas compare with the purposes which God had planned for you?

I think my ideas and priorities as a wife are probably generally way off the mark and if I am completely honest are more contrary to God's intended design than I would like to admit.

I grew up within an extended family where all the women tend to 'wear the trousers'.  They are bold confident women who run their homes efficiently but whom speak their minds freely and frequently nag and openly chastise or criticise their husbands.

It is quite a challenging concept for me to read the bible and to contemplate God's perfect design for women and for marriage.

"It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make a helper suitable for him" (Genesis 2:18)

also

"For man did not come from woman, but woman from man; neither was man created for woman, but woman for man" (1 Corinthians 11:9)

God therefore created woman not simply to be a companion - not even (as I or many women might be tempted to believe) to be 'his better half' but our key function and purpose is to be a helper to our husband.

mmmmm.  I wonder how much of a helper my husband would truly consider me to be?

I am very good at bossing my husband around and telling him where he falls short.  I am good at writing him long to do lists and insisting he completes the things I need him to do before he spends his time doing whatever he has in mind.  I nag him continually over little things that annoy me - for example "David we have been married nearly eleven years, you know it annoys me when you leave your music stand out.  Could you not just put it away when you have finished playing your cornet?  How many more years will we be married before you put my desires first and learn to tidy away after yourself?"

What might God's response be to me I wonder?

possibly  . . .  "When are you going to learn to stop making an issue of it??"

I have a wonderful husband whom I love very dearly but I suspect he probably doesn't realise anywhere near the extent of my love and admiration for him because i find it much easier to nag and criticise than to express love, gratitude or admiration.

I fear my approach has probably been completely wrong in that I have spent many years trying to change and improve my husband, to train him to be the husband I expect him to be.  Not sure I have given quite so much focus or attention to worrying about how I can be the wife that God expects me to be.

I do sometimes seek my husband's opinion but if he gives me an answer I dont like or says no to me I put all my efforts into explaining to him why he is wrong or mistaken or into persuading him to change his mind.

I can tend to be too controlling and don't often allow him to lead or to make decisions on behalf of our family.  I nag him to take more leadership but don't afford him the opportunity or support to do so.

God's intention for me as a wife is to help, support, comfort and bring joy to my husband.  I am to do this by willingly submitting to his leadership, by enquiring how I might be of help to him, by respecting and honoring him even when I may not agree with him, by thinking about and finding ways in which I might bless him, to ease his sorrows and anxieties and to aid him in all he has to achieve.

Submitting to and serving my husband does not come easily or naturally to me but that is no excuse for me to give up trying.

I need a change of heart attitude and God to work on my heart to help me be more willing to serve and to look for opportunities to love, honour and help my husband.

When I serve my husband I am serving God.

I expect I may fall short many times and fail miserably on many occasions but i am on a journey and little baby steps now will hopefully lead to big strides forward in the future. 

One day I hope I might be able to re-evaluate my life and know that I always put my husband and his needs first and above my own.

Choices

 

 

Every day I have the chance

to make a simple choice

but by the time that night falls

will I sadly sigh or yet rejoice?

 

Shall I set my alarm clock

to wake an hour earlier say?

. . . I am quite tired and sleepy

I could pray another day?

 

But I want to make the right choice

and spend my time with you

I could do a million other things

but none would my heart subdue

 

If I want to grow in my relationship

then time I have to spend

I have to invest regular quality time

with you my Lord and friend

 

I know that you delight in me

when I choose right and choose you first

so help me always make the right choice

and afer you, not sleep, to thirst

 

So let me turn the TV off

and go early to my bed

Don't let me find more chores to do

Let me choose sleep instead

 

And when I stumble out of bed

and struggle to know how to pray

Help keep my mind focussed on you

Let my thoughts not wander or stray

 

Teach me to dwell in your presence Lord

To seek you first and foremost each day

and one day let the choice become habit

and less difficult a decision I pray!



Rooted in Christ

 

 

 

Thank you Lord that you love me,

that you never give up on me,

that you delight in me

in spite of myself

 

Help me make you my number one priority

let me yearn to spend time in your presence

I long to be a woman with my roots sunk deep.

Nourish me with knowledge and understanding

 

Feed me with your word

Guide and teach me always

Remind me to bring my every decision to you

Guide my every word, thought and action

 

Teach me to hear your promptings

Soften my heart and stop me being self-willed

Help me strive instead, to see your will done

in every circumstance and situation

 

Help me store your words in my memory

so I can recall them in times of need

Let me never be worried or anxious

may I rest easy and be comforted by you

 

For you have only plans to prosper not to harm me

Let me never forget this simple truth.

Help me to be a shining light

to bring glory to your name

 

May I always be woman after your heart

prevent me from faltering and catch me when I stumble

Let me keep my eyes focussed on you

and let my life be rooted in Christ.