At my Thursday night womens group we were studying the story of Moses' mother Jochebed and discussing the remarkable faith in God that she demonstrated in firstly hiding her baby boy rather than drowning him as the king had decreed. After keeping him hidden in secret for three months Jochabed then laid her beloved baby in a basket and placed him in the river, effectively relinquishing all control and entrusting Moses entirely to God's care.
It was a really encouraging story for me personally as it has been a rather challenging week after being told on Monday that my job is being made redundant.
I am confident that God has a plan for me and that he will ensure my family is provided for but it is difficult not to succumb to natural human emotions of fear, anxiety and worry particularly when it comes to thinking about how we will pay the mortgage if I can't find another job and in particular worrying about having the wisdom to know what jobs to apply for, whether to try and remain part time so i can be there for the boys or whether to consider full time work just to keep a job and a salary.
I have been exhausted with thinking about all the different options and scenarios and have not been sleeping for several nights as my brain just won't sit down.
In addition I am trying really hard to remain upbeat and positive at work and to not to get embroiled in the feelings of bitterness and anger that some of my colleagues are feeling. It is very difficult to ensure my conduct at work is righteous when at the same time I am concerned about how some of my colleagues are being treated and knowing that in some cases the organisation is not treating people as well or as humanely as they could if they chose to.
I have applied for a couple of other roles outside of my organisation just to feel I am doing something pro-active but nothing that has really been a viable option or for which I am actually qualified. Even those roles I have applied for have taken me between 5 and 6 hours per application to complete. I am concerned that while I am looking for and applying for jobs I am neglecting my youngest son and as a result he inevitably ends up making fun for himself that naturally ends in trouble for me. Crayon on the wall, soap and water all over the floor etc. etc.
Anyway, I know that I now have many friends praying for me and as I am getting beyond my own ability to work out a solution I really have no option than to turn to God for help.
It is always very easy to tell other people to 'just trust in God, keep praying and having the faith to know God will work all things for good' but I have fortunately never before been in the situation where I am the one having to live by that faith. I bumped into a girl at church today who want through a very tough time last year. At the time I kept encouraging her to rest in God's peace and not to be anxious about what the future held. She was facing a similar situation with respect to work and had a few doors closed before the perfect role arose. She is now extremely happy in a brilliant job and that is such an encouraging testimony for me to remember now. I guess it is very good practice for me to relinquish control and place my life in God's hands and this will no doubt be a period of spiritual stretching and growth for me.
When she placed little Moses in the Nile River Jochebed did not know that he would one day grow up to be one of God's greatest leaders, chosen to rescue the Hebrew people from slavery in Egypt. By letting go and trusting God, an even greater plan was fulfilled. We may not always see or understand how God is working in any given situation but if we can only allow ourselves to let go and place our situation in his hands we can trust that God's plan will be even better than anything we could have imagined.
Watch this space as I hope one day to be able to share my testimony of how God has used me and this opportunity in my life. I don't know how quickly God's plan will be revealed to me or where God will take me on this journey but I am determined to enjoy and get the most out of the ride!!
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