A Servant Heart

What do you consider to be your greatest role or priority as a wife?

How do you think that your ideas compare with the purposes which God had planned for you?

I think my ideas and priorities as a wife are probably generally way off the mark and if I am completely honest are more contrary to God's intended design than I would like to admit.

I grew up within an extended family where all the women tend to 'wear the trousers'.  They are bold confident women who run their homes efficiently but whom speak their minds freely and frequently nag and openly chastise or criticise their husbands.

It is quite a challenging concept for me to read the bible and to contemplate God's perfect design for women and for marriage.

"It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make a helper suitable for him" (Genesis 2:18)

also

"For man did not come from woman, but woman from man; neither was man created for woman, but woman for man" (1 Corinthians 11:9)

God therefore created woman not simply to be a companion - not even (as I or many women might be tempted to believe) to be 'his better half' but our key function and purpose is to be a helper to our husband.

mmmmm.  I wonder how much of a helper my husband would truly consider me to be?

I am very good at bossing my husband around and telling him where he falls short.  I am good at writing him long to do lists and insisting he completes the things I need him to do before he spends his time doing whatever he has in mind.  I nag him continually over little things that annoy me - for example "David we have been married nearly eleven years, you know it annoys me when you leave your music stand out.  Could you not just put it away when you have finished playing your cornet?  How many more years will we be married before you put my desires first and learn to tidy away after yourself?"

What might God's response be to me I wonder?

possibly  . . .  "When are you going to learn to stop making an issue of it??"

I have a wonderful husband whom I love very dearly but I suspect he probably doesn't realise anywhere near the extent of my love and admiration for him because i find it much easier to nag and criticise than to express love, gratitude or admiration.

I fear my approach has probably been completely wrong in that I have spent many years trying to change and improve my husband, to train him to be the husband I expect him to be.  Not sure I have given quite so much focus or attention to worrying about how I can be the wife that God expects me to be.

I do sometimes seek my husband's opinion but if he gives me an answer I dont like or says no to me I put all my efforts into explaining to him why he is wrong or mistaken or into persuading him to change his mind.

I can tend to be too controlling and don't often allow him to lead or to make decisions on behalf of our family.  I nag him to take more leadership but don't afford him the opportunity or support to do so.

God's intention for me as a wife is to help, support, comfort and bring joy to my husband.  I am to do this by willingly submitting to his leadership, by enquiring how I might be of help to him, by respecting and honoring him even when I may not agree with him, by thinking about and finding ways in which I might bless him, to ease his sorrows and anxieties and to aid him in all he has to achieve.

Submitting to and serving my husband does not come easily or naturally to me but that is no excuse for me to give up trying.

I need a change of heart attitude and God to work on my heart to help me be more willing to serve and to look for opportunities to love, honour and help my husband.

When I serve my husband I am serving God.

I expect I may fall short many times and fail miserably on many occasions but i am on a journey and little baby steps now will hopefully lead to big strides forward in the future. 

One day I hope I might be able to re-evaluate my life and know that I always put my husband and his needs first and above my own.